Screwed.edu
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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