Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
