he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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