this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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