I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
