I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
