Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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