Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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