if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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