Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
