i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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