My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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