Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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