Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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