so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
