My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
