you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
