You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
