So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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