Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
