then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
