my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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