i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
