So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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