wanna go halves on a baby?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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