he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Do you remember whose house we're in?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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