remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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