spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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