You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
