she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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