put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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