How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
