He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
