Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
That reminds me...we need to get swords
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
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