glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
