Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
