Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
