Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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