She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
