I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
