The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
