the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
