Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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