She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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