Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
only you would photoshop your dick
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just found puke in my bra..
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
