just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
