Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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