i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
