Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
