in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
