Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
