Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Randomize
