she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
