i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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